I
am defiantly an introvert. Whenever I am around many people, even five people
can sometimes be a lot, I not only feel shy but I also feel crowded. Even if I
know them very well, never feel uncomfortable around them, or was just talking
to them; I can still get shy out of nowhere. If I feel too many people are
paying attention to me, I feel closed up and nervous. I do not usually speak my
mind. I would rather keep to myself. Often I just do not know what to say to
someone. Despite my fear of talking aloud to someone, I love it when people
talk to me one-on-one. It is responding to them I have trouble doing. I prefer
to listen to them instead of telling what I think. I guess sometimes I feel my
opinion does not matter, or the person talking to me would not care.
If I am ever at a party or any
place with a lot of people everywhere all at once, I hate it. Being around too
many people like that truly drains me. I try to find a place with the least
amount of people and just hang out there for the night. The problem is the
crowd usually finds me. I feel so tired after having to engage in social
interaction, even if I did not do much. Afterwards, I could really use some
time left alone. Once I lock myself away for a few hours, someone might think
something is wrong, but the time alone makes me feel relaxed.
Just because I prefer to be
alone rather than to be around people does not mean I dislike being with people
at all. Of course, I still want to be a part of things. I love spending time
with my friends; they are always fun to be around. But sometimes, because of
how quiet I can be, I feel like I can easily be forgotten. Sometimes I feel
lonely if no one pays ANY attention to me, I do not need much. However, I
cannot truly engage with someone if I do not feel welcome, it only makes me
feel lonelier. If I find a group of my friends, or perhaps only one, and they
are already talking to someone or doing something, I feel like I am intruding on
their space. If they acknowledge me and welcome me over, I feel a part of
things, (even if they continue their conversation, and I am not a part of it.)
I just want to feel like they enjoy having me around.
~Alyssa Schnell
Here is a guide to understanding
Introverts. Trust me, it is helpful, because it is entirely true and spelled
out perfectly. J
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